Finding Your Tribe

Brandon Lee

Brandon Lee

2 mins read

Jim Rohn said, "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." 

The Grant Study, a 75-year longitudinal study concluded that having strong, warm relationships is the strongest predictor of life success in nearly every metric. 

The most important thing you can do as someone with deliberate choice, is to choose who you surround yourself with. 

In my early 20s, I struggled to find the kind of people who I respected, admired, and wanted to be friends with. Part of it was because I didn't know where to find these people. I remember thinking about the 2-3 people who I really respected and wanted to spend more time with, but was frustrated because they didn't live nearby. 

"Where are all the good people?" 

"Where am I going to find people who 'get' me?" 

I ultimately spent 9 months straight deliberately trying to find the answers. 

I attended every event I could find, I joined a couple masterminds, attended meetups from blogs/authors I enjoyed following. I flew out to different cities, at times, to pursue this.  

The first few months were very frustrating, it seemed like 1 in 20 people that I met fit what I was looking for. After meeting a few hundred people, I found 4-5 people who I thought were really cool and lived in the same area as me. I started spending more time with them and eventually, met their friends, met their friends of friends. 

After 6 months, I hit a tipping point and I started getting introduce to people left and right who all seemed to be the kind I wanted to spend more time with. 

It's been 4 years since I started that journey and this last weekend, I hosted a dinner with ~30 amazing people. 

I'll end with this quote: "People tend to overestimate what can be done in one year and to underestimate what can be done in five or ten years."